When you walk the path nobody else has walked before, the journey is that much more harder, no references, no flag points, no directions, no guide and no water stations – your instincts, intuitions, a protective force of love of those who resonate, wishes from those who care thats all you have – the path has just pulled you unknowingly and you are deep into the journey – its scary, its tough, many moments you just want to cry coz that next step is becoming difficult to take, you sit, you breath, you try to see where you have reached, have you moved further or are you moving backwards, what is that which awaits at the end of this path, is there something at all? or is it just about this journey?
but something deep inside the heart whispers “keep going”, you are almost reaching.
That’s how it has been my journey with this web series.
When i left infosys, i was scared of the unknown path that was lying ahead of me. I took it anyway, choicelessly immersed in the need for expression, which i knew – films were that for me
I knew nobody in the industry, i knew nothing of its work arounds, all i knew was that i have stories that i want to share with the world, through films. so i went to film school to harness the craft.
When i left film school, i was scared, i had no idea how to take this path ahead, some big idealistic ambitions took me to London, bit of internships but personal life pulled me back to india, to bangalore – had to attend to some extreme situations that life threw me at, threw us at as a family.
that’s when a saviour spotted me and included me in his big production, a big kannada feature film from assistant director to associate director within a year’s span. It seemed surreal
from there i went to a crowd funded tamil feature film to co-direct, mindblowingly committed team, how they all spoke the language of cinema, mesmerised me, finally i was beginning to feel at home.
but that was not it, the stories that had stayed within me, had started to irk me, wanting to come out
i felt ready to make my own films, big films not just short films
i spread all my scripts infront of me and sat one day
Amdist 6 scripts, “The ‘other’ love story” stared at me with puppy eyes, it was one of the first scripts that i had written, it had elements of my own first love story, the intensity, the madness, the innocence, the passion
I picked the script into my hands, i was scared but i was choiceless.
since that day, till today – many many sleepless nights, it has pushed me in all directions, broken my own limitations, sometimes i want to just shut myself somewhere and not be bothered by this story, but i know i can’t do that, it is not elsewhere, it is within me, a stubborn bull that i am, i get up, dust and walk, sometimes i want to cry out of frustration, my feet is sore, my pockets are empty – but i hear that whisper every morning when i wake up to another war like a day “Keep going, you are almost reaching”